Grief

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Saturday night, before going to bed, I’d visually planned out what my Sunday walk, with Maxx, would look like.  I knew what jeans, jacket, shirt and shoes I would wear.  The weather was supposed to be nice so I was looking forward to this long walk, my time with God and my music (Maxx does his own thing during our walks so he never pays any attention, to me).  On Sunday, I wore the exact outfit I’d mentally planned, but for a different reason than I thought.  A family member passed away.

In disbelief, I sat holding the phone while my mom cried, trying to tell me what happened.  I could barely understand what she was saying, but I heard the name.  I’d just communicated with this person, on Friday, she wasn’t sick, she wasn’t killed in a car accident and there was no freak accident. She simply passed away in her sleep.  Death is inevitable.  We all know it’s going to happen, but it’s never easy when it happens, especially when it isn’t expected at the time it occurs.  Even if someone is sick, lives a risky life, or is of old age (which means nothing since the 2 oldest people, in the world today, are both 116 years old), when death happens it’s never easy for family members and loved ones.  However, the blow seems to hit hardest when death, like a thief in the night, comes out of nowhere.

I called my godsister and as we talked, the sobs that fell between her words, told me she was trying to hold it together.  Most of the drive, in the car with my mom, took place in silence.  When I arrived at my godmother’s house and gave out that first hug, the tears flowed.  I’d already prayed when I was at home so I continued to ask God to cover the family with his arms of comfort, strength and love.  And although I sought comfort, in the Lord, it still didn’t make any sense.  I didn’t understand why God, with no warning, had chosen her.  In an instant lives changed and in that moment nothing else mattered.

I find comfort in remembering the good times, the time spent laughing, after a hilarious Facebook exchange and that explosive personality that’ll never be forgotten.  I love my godparents and my godsister and her brothers a little extra today.  Don’t let another day pass without telling those close to you that you love them.  Yes, they know how you feel about them, but it’s alway great to hear it.

RIH Sherrea China Williams.  You will forever be missed and always loved.

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