Life is a Beach

Today, Maxx and I spent some time at the beach.  There was nothing special happening there, but I figured it was a great place to hang out, for a little while and take some photos.  I gathered Maxx, my Sony A330 DSLR camera, my Beats headphones and headed to the beach.  After getting lost…damn GPS…we arrived at Redondo and Torrance (RAT) Beach.  I didn’t know it at the time, but the stillness, calmness and breathtaking views was exactly what I needed.

Here are some photos that captured our time at the beach.

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Sexist Man Alive – All Black Edition

People magazine selected David Beckham as the sexist man alive (for 2015) and I appreciate that because, well, he is pretty damn sexy.  Okay so as much as I don’t want to admit it, David Beckham is sexy, fine and so freakin’ hot.  While I’m not a fan of his clean shaven look, that look where he has a little stubble on his face, and his hair is a little messy, gets me every time!

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David Beckham

People magazine is long overdue for selecting a black man in the #1 spot of its “sexist man alive” issue.  Of the 30 times, it has released a “sexist man alive” issue, 29 of the 30 men selected, have been white (Denzel Washington was selected, in 1996).

I’ve volunteered myself to give People magazine some assistance in identifying 12 celebrity black men (it was supposed to be 1o but I was Continue reading

20 Things Nobody Told Me about Depression

Battling depression is challenging, confusing and emotional.  Some days, you feel as if things are getting better and you’re going to be okay.  While other days, you feel as if the world, as you know it, is coming to an end.  There’s no way to prepare you, for dealing with depression, since most times you’re depressed before you even know you’re suffering from depression.

As I continue this unwanted relationship, with depression, there are some things that I wish someone would’ve told me about managing this disease.  But since no one did, I’m going to share some of those things, in hopes that it might help someone else.

20 things nobody told me about depression:

1.  Because people can’t see it, they don’t think depression is real, so it’s hard to talk to friends and family about it.

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Aruba – One Happy Island

All I want to do is travel, meet dope people and eat great food!

Aruba is a beautiful island.  I mean it is absolutely breathtaking!  Several months ago, my friend Angel invited me and other women to celebrate her 40th birthday, in Aruba.  Initially, I was excited about the opportunity to travel to Aruba, because I’d never been before and I wanted to keep with my goal of at least one international trip, each year.  But then about two weeks before we were scheduled to leave, I no longer had the desire to go.  No energy, no motivation, I just didn’t want to be there.  The week that I was scheduled to leave, I went through the motions of packing, scheduling an airport pick-up, getting an international plan for my phone and putting an international travel alert on my credit cards.  I knew where the feeling of not wanting to go was coming from and I was determined not to let these feelings win.  By the time I arrived to LAX, I’d Continue reading

Dear Lamar Odom

Dear Lamar,

I hope one day you will be able to read these words.  Not because I want to meet you, not because I want you to publicly read or address the words, in this letter, and not because I want to receive any recognition, having written these words. You being able to read these words would mean that it was God’s will to pull you out of a coma, heal you and continue to use you for His purpose.  That has been my prayer, after hearing you were found unconscious and right now, you’re fighting for your life.  I want to believe that God has a bigger purpose other than what you have been going through, this past week (and prior to that), and I keep praying, hoping and believing that purpose includes a full recovery.

Besides your success as a basketball player, I don’t know you.  Like everyone else, I know the name of your ex-wife (though I didn’t watch your televised wedding) and I’ve seen the parts of your life, from 2009 until the present be scrutinized, in the public eye, for all things not related to basketball. Continue reading

Can Maxx Sense My Depression?

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I’ve been on my prescribed anti-depressants for about three weeks.  I can’t particularly identify if I’m “feeling” any different.  The fact that I am expecting something to happen has me on edge, waiting, for that moment to occur.  I keep imagining that one day I’ll be walking or driving and then, like magic, something will switch and I’ll be the Cheney I know.  I have noticed that I’ve been more aware and paying attention, to my surroundings; taking in those things around me.  Most of the time I get lost in my thoughts because I still haven’t figured out how to slow my mind down, which is usually going a mile a minutes (and that’s pretty fast).  Often times, I snap back into the reality, when there’s this awful breath breathing in my face or the gross feeling of a tongue sneaking licks on my hands or toes.  It’s Maxx!

Before I discovered what was wrong with me, I think Maxx already knew.  When I was going through some really bad days, Maxx was really getting on my nerves!  Everywhere I turned there he was, everywhere I walked he was on my heels. Each time I wanted to stretch my legs, as I sat on the couch, I couldn’t because he had positioned himself directly under my bent leg.  Each time I took I shower, I’d open the shower curtain to step out of the tub and he would be laying on the bath math.  I just couldn’t get him to leave me alone.  I’d yell at him and buy him toys and treats to keep him busy, but nothing worked.  Maxx is a very loving dog and has his moments of wanting to be under me, but this time was different. Continue reading

Yes, Its True. I am a Black Woman and I am Depressed

“You have clinical depression.”  So many thoughts ran through my mind as my doctor stated those words.  Part of me was glad to know that something was actually wrong with me and that I wasn’t really going crazy.  The other part of me was confused.  Confused because I couldn’t understand why or how this was happening.  I kept playing back, in my mind, my life over the past few months, reading through my journals, looking for something that would tell me what was going on with me.  Of course I’d experienced moments in my life that didn’t go as I would have hoped for, had stressful days and days where I didn’t want to be bothered.  But, those are just a regular part of life, right?  But, what was happening to me was that I was engulfed into these type of days more frequently.  I was stressed, snappy, tired and it was becoming a struggle just to make it through each day.  So I did what I do best.  I prayed and kept praying.  Surely God would pull me out of this funk.  I kept praying, praying several times a day, in the shower, in the car,when walking Maxx, wondering why God was moving so slow because I didn’t believe that he would want me to be so miserable and broken, but with each passing day nothing happened.  In fact, I was starting to feel worse.

One day, without any warning, I broke down.  I was washing the dishes and out of no where the tears started falling, non stop.  Even when I tried to stop crying, I couldn’t.  My heart was beating fast, my hands were shaking and the room was spinning.  I kept thinking if I made it the bed, to lay down, I would be ok.  I barely made it from the kitchen to my bedroom before I collapsed on the floor and Continue reading

Bentonite Clay Hair Treatment

Bentonite clay is the truth!  My hair (and my face) loves it.  Since I co-wash and don’t use shampoos on my hair, it’s critical that I clarify my hair, often, to remove product build-up.  I do ACV (apple cider vinegar) rinses, twice a month and these rinses do a great job of balancing the pH level of my hair and removing build up from my hair and scalp.  I do bentonite clay treatments once a week (sometimes twice a week if my hair feels really dry throughout the week).

Bentonite clay attracts impurities like toxins, bacteria, and viruses, and draws them out of hair.  It helps cleanse and lift impurities from the hair, aiding in conditioning, shine, softness, and definition. Continue reading

Cherry Lola Treatment

Upon recently discovering that I have low porosity hair (low porosity is when your hair cuticle layer is tightly-bound and closed. For this reason, it is very difficult to get moisture into the hair), I’ve been researching methods that will benefit my hair and get me (and keep me) on the track to healthy natural hair.

I’ve heard about the Cherry Lola Treatment on many natural haircare forums, blogs and websites but I’ve never had any interest in trying it.  However, as I was doing my research this treatment kept coming up as a good treatment for naturals with low porosity hair, so I decided to give it a try.  The products used in this treatment include baking soda, liquid amino acids and plain yogurt.

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Baking Soda (2 tablespoons) – Baking soda is an alkaline, with an average pH of 9.0, that cleans out excess product, removes impurities and cleans hair.  Extremely alkaline products, like baking soda, open the cuticles of the hair shaft, allowing moisture into the hair.

Liquid Aminos (2 tablespoons) – Amino acids increases the hair’s ability to retain moisture and increases shine . It’s low in molecular weight so it easily penetrates the hair shaft and binds to hair’s inner fibers. *I purchased Bragg’s Liquid Aminos from Whole Foods.  It is found next the soy sauce.

Plain Yogurt (2 cups) – Yogurt will provide the hair with a healthy balance of moisture and protein to help soften dry hair strands.

I mixed the yogurt and amino acid and then added the baking soda.  Immediately after adding the baking soda, the mixture began to fizz.

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Corn Casserole

I entered my mom into a chili cook-off contest.  Her chili with ground turkey and fresh tomatoes in the best so I thought it’d only make sense to share it with the world.  Ok, so maybe not the world, but just the residents that lived in my building and would participate in the taste test.  While my mom won chili contest, one of the residents bought a dish to compliment the chili, that was AMAZING!  Corn casserole.  Yes, yes, in my all years, I’d never tasted corn casserole.  And I must say it was delicious.  Continue reading