I hope one day you will be able to read these words. Not because I want to meet you, not because I want you to publicly read or address the words, in this letter, and not because I want to receive any recognition, having written these words. You being able to read these words would mean that it was God’s will to pull you out of a coma, heal you and continue to use you for His purpose. That has been my prayer, after hearing you were found unconscious and right now, you’re fighting for your life. I want to believe that God has a bigger purpose other than what you have been going through, this past week (and prior to that), and I keep praying, hoping and believing that purpose includes a full recovery.
Besides your success as a basketball player, I don’t know you. Like everyone else, I know the name of your ex-wife (though I didn’t watch your televised wedding) and I’ve seen the parts of your life, from 2009 until the present be scrutinized, in the public eye, for all things not related to basketball.
I’m going to stand my ground and move forward with the assumption (because I have no proof) that you’ve been experiencing a deep depression. I’ve heard your words and I’ve seen that look in your eyes, and I know them both very well. I’ve carried that look, with me, for a long time so I easily recognize it in others. Unlike you, my mom is still with me, my father hasn’t struggled with drug addiction (I don’t even know my father), and I’m blessed that my friends are still with me, present in this life. Although my life and experiences are different, the truth is I am depressed, tired, LOST and almost without any happiness, in my life, so my heart ached as I watched you, on that TMZ sports video, express your anger, pain, disappointment and frustration for how you were being treated. Full of emotion, you tenaciously defended your character and your manhood, trying to make everyone believe that you were not the problem. What I saw, was a man who was trying to hold together the remaining pieces of his life. A man destined to find his way back to the life he once knew, the happiness he once held deep within and the confidence that had made him a phenomenal basketball player.
I pray for God’s healing hands on you. I pray for your children and that they are able to continue to grow up, with you, present in their lives. I pray for a full recovery, coupled with the help you need to regain order in your life. I pray that God surrounds you with people that support you and who are committed to and contribute to your healing. Lamar, I’m pulling for you and will keep praying for you. And whatever happens, may God’s will be done.